Waypoints of Illusion

Was Another Time

Tue, 21 Jun 2005 04:47:30 GMT

We would both celebrate this date - each month.

I miss you so much...

I love you!

Merc -

Tue, 10 May 2005 17:26:12 GMT

will you marry me?

:)

Sat TerDay

Sat, 07 May 2005 19:27:08 GMT

Sometimes the trees and just trees,
and the water is only wet.
Sometimes my life is simple and plain,
like coffee from a Styrofoam cup.

I miss you.
I love you.
He takes care of us, gently guiding our light.

Arms & Hearts

Thu, 21 Apr 2005 16:29:42 GMT

Awoke late and remembered my frustration and inability to express myself to you. You seem so determined to end - to see only what I've not done, to repeat my past shortcomings and continue to hold them in the mirror's light.

Some days I can barely see my way and can only hold my truth.

I still have arms for you,
and heart for us.

I love you Merc!

Just...

Sun, 10 Apr 2005 18:07:43 GMT

Just noticed something - a divorce, a separation, an ending - and not a word.

Just like that.

TrivaToday

Sat, 09 Apr 2005 19:16:25 GMT

After a morning of work, poppy corn sounds great!

Sat TerDay

Sat, 09 Apr 2005 15:21:06 GMT

Another sunrise
Another day wondering about you.

Fry Daze

Sat, 09 Apr 2005 02:06:25 GMT

Another day.

Workin World

Tue, 05 Apr 2005 18:44:10 GMT

Just a workin stiff at my client's service.
I've changed it four times and i think the last is IT!
LoL

Grumps

Tue, 05 Apr 2005 16:14:15 GMT

I was grousie with her last night - and i know i can't get away with nothing like that.
Today's another day, finding me working, thoughts drifting to you.
I love you.
Yep, I doze.

Stuff

Sat, 02 Apr 2005 16:24:10 GMT

Doctor says my left eye shall be inhabited by floaters that probably won't dissolve naturally, says I can either learn to live with them or have elective surgery to have 'em removed. Having had some experience with electrons invading my eye, I know it isn't a picnic. My vision is somewhat impaired, but I'm certain I can deal with it.

Early to bed last night and saw I got a call while out walking. She told me not to call anymore - thought about it - but went to bed instead. Very early to rise again this am - went for a long work at sunrise. Time of quiet reflection and remembrance.

I have a smile on my face wondering if you'll read this.

What's Up Doc?

Fri, 01 Apr 2005 11:18:24 GMT

In a few hours I'll be sitting in front of my favorite eye surgeon - he'll gaze into my left eye, and I wonder what he'll see?

Three O'clock

Fri, 01 Apr 2005 11:17:16 GMT

Awoke from a sound sleep and remembered your sweet good night.
Looked across my room at the shadows on the wall and felt you there.
Your eyes focused on the rising sun,
my eyes focused on the rising sun.
Together.
I love you Merc, and that's all i can say.

Afternoon in Tundra

Fri, 25 Mar 2005 23:15:02 GMT

I think of you in your world, wondering where you go for lunch, what streets you walk along on your way, the people you talk to (as I often hear you doing when we're on the phone) what the factory looks like, where your car is parked and what the people you work with are like...

Flood of email

Fri, 25 Mar 2005 23:01:15 GMT

Got almost 5,000 emails in about a half hour. Something was whacked, but seems ok now.

And...

Fri, 25 Mar 2005 02:53:11 GMT

holy moly flaming beacons of love, bounding through me to you!

I love you!

Rainy Night

Fri, 25 Mar 2005 02:43:31 GMT

Just returning from a short walk after working all day 'cept for a break earlier this day. I know I wasn't 100% with you and I know you felt it, I tried to acknowledge it when you spoke of it, but i feel short. I hold you in my heart until there are no more words, and then I'll hold you still yet more.

Workin World

Wed, 23 Mar 2005 19:52:30 GMT

Funny story of the happenings at work.

Ah, the flowers must be delivered - insulin shock or not!

Tues. Clouds

Tue, 22 Mar 2005 15:38:17 GMT

Tuesday morning grayness - heavy clouds debating what to do, finds me thinking of you with a smile on my face. I enjoy reading to you, and maybe one day I'll have the courage to read to you from written journals, god knows i got a few of them. LoL

I've been thinking about Abby dog lately, and felt better when I realized she's been gone six months, which started me at first as I hadn't realized so much time had passed. And no, I don't want cat visitors anytime soon. :)

I love you sweet woman!

Sat AM

Sat, 19 Mar 2005 14:29:16 GMT

Good morning love! Woke early and couldn't get back to sleep so up I am.

There ya have it.. :)

Oh - I found this on my desktop so I wanted you to have it.

Plans?

Fri, 18 Mar 2005 22:17:13 GMT

Work week almost over - what ya gonna do tonight? Wanna go on a treasure hunt?

I'll send the car by to pick ya up, look under the front seat passenger side.

Long Day

Fri, 18 Mar 2005 07:26:08 GMT

After writing my thoughts turn to you and your struggle to forgive me. Yes beloved, I will be sensitive and realize it takes time - thank you. I'm tired and will hold you in sleep, with anticipation of morning's light and gratefully will awake to create another day.

I love you.

Birthday You!

Wed, 16 Mar 2005 22:32:07 GMT

Yeah!

Happy Birthday sweetie!

All day, and all night!

Big Smile

Morning After

Sun, 13 Mar 2005 19:34:13 GMT

Another morning, slept late after early hour whispers - you are such a delight! I'm learning to stay in the center of being, how we learn that is somewhat beyond me still - but when his presence is strongly felt, it's the easiest thing to do!

To Do
To Do

No not yet another TD list - still haven't done all the stuff on the last list.

LoL

Can you make my phone ring?

Lies

Fri, 11 Mar 2005 23:33:55 GMT

Honesty can be very difficult - occasionally just out of reach. Sometimes I lie automatically even before I realize i've betrayed the truth.

I lied to my lover Mercurious_M, told her I didn't have another LJ when in fact i did. Truth will always be revealed, and of course she knows I lied.

I am sorry sweetie I betrayed your trust. I am sorry I betrayed myself and forgot the truth.

Once again I will find my place in truth and again I will remember what was forgotten.

And again, I am sorry...